


‘Things do not change; we change’

by cara_ox



Series: 'The sun is but a morning star' [1]
Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Hurt/Comfort, I think they are definitely heading that way okay, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Reunions, Truth, and sam is gonna fall first, probably a bit premature to say they're in love buttt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 09:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21195665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cara_ox/pseuds/cara_ox
Summary: My own take on the Sam and Grizz reunion that we all deserve x





	‘Things do not change; we change’

**Author's Note:**

> Grizz and Sam own my whole heart - I love them so damn much.
> 
> I wrote this in like 2 hours so pls don't judge me too harshly lol (also I hate the title but what can you do?)
> 
> If I've described any signs wrong - please lemme know! I wanted to try to include some as I feel like some fics kinda erase that?
> 
> I might carry on with this or possibly do a chapter with Sam and Becca, him asking to tell Grizz etc or Grizz meeting Eden? but who knows!
> 
> xox

Sam had found Grizz down by the gardens, of course he was by the gardens. Sam could hardly blame him; the group had barely been back 5 minutes when they had interrupted the complete disaster of the coup. Grizz appreciated peace and quiet. He liked to be alone. This was one of the things Sam learned about him during Thanksgiving. Sam longed to go back to that night, he felt so comfortable, so real, so normal lying next to Grizz. Amongst all of the recent chaos, it was the only thing that kept him sane, thinking about the closeness between them and how they just seemed to slot together like the perfect key. Since Eden’s birth and the whole mess with Lexie and Harry, well, Sam had realised how lucky they all were before. It was the calm before the chaos, but none of them had really noticed until after.

It was obvious that Grizz could hear Sam’s footsteps down the path but made a conscious effort not to look up until the very moment Sam was standing right beside him. This wasn’t out of spite, more Grizz trying to forsake his own feelings. They hadn’t departed on bad terms, but a sort of limbo, in-between state. Not seeing or speaking to Sam for over a week had been hard. Walden had kept him occupied enough, as well as the thought of actually going back home with good news. But seeing him again, having to look at those beautiful, baby blues and face up to what had happened would be complete agony.

“Hey.” Sam was standing only 10 or so inches away from Grizz, he was almost tempted to kneel down beside him, to force him to talk to him but disregarded that thought when Grizz built up the courage to stare back up at him.

“Hey.” Grizz briefly glanced up, quickly signing, before focusing back on the plants he’d left behind, checking on them to repair any damage, not that he needed to. He didn’t want to avoid Sam, that was the last thing he wanted to do. But having to look at him, seeing Sam pitying him, he didn’t want that. Pushing these thoughts aside, he brushed his hands against each other, ridding of any dirt or soil, before pushing his body up to stand and did the thing he’d thought about ever since he and Sam last touched.

Both boys moved towards each other, and Sam himself was a little hesitant, but Grizz clasped onto Sam, as if his life depended on it, nuzzling his face into Sam’s shoulder. The smell of Sam, Sam’s own smell alone made Grizz feel more at home than he had been in a long time. Once again, Sam was required to be on his tiptoes, feeling the weight of Grizz’s warm body against his. This moment only lasted a few seconds, and once they departed Sam felt cold and alone once again. The hurt was still clear on Grizz’s face, and that antagonised Sam.

“How was it? The trip?” Sam spoke louder this time, aware that this was the only way he could communicate with Grizz; he wanted to keep his attention. But this was quite difficult considering Grizz wouldn’t look at him longer than five seconds before glancing away. He wished he’d look at him properly, but those longing, sad eyes would just make Sam feel worse. Since moving to New Ham, Sam had already seen Grizz cry quite a few times. Two of those were Sam’s own doing, which had haunted Sam since those moments. He didn’t want to ever be the culprit or reason again.

“Yeah, it was, uh, it was good. We found what we needed. So… All good.” Grizz replied, giving Sam a small but sad smile. He didn’t have much else to say. That’s what he told anyone else who asked in the past day since he and the others had come back. He hadn’t had much time to think about the farming plans. The complete and utter shit-show starring Lexie and Harry with appearances from Jason, Clark, and Luke had over clouded that. Grizz had spent the group’s first night back trying to understand how everything had gotten so messed up. Gordie had filled them in, only briefly, and that was enough to rile him up. Not that Grizz would act on it – violence was never his forte. He knew something had to be done; he had to help Allie and Will. But maybe focusing on his own mess, the ‘Sam’ mess, would be the best place to start.

“What did it look like?”

“It was beautiful.” Grizz looked up to Sam this time, signing the word ‘beautiful’ slowly and carefully, making it clear to Sam how special it was what they had found. And it was. He almost couldn’t believe what they discovered. That they were so lucky. Out of the group who went on the expedition, Grizz was the least optimistic. He desperately wanted to find something, wanted to come back with even a little glimmer of hope. They’d succeeded in that, but it almost seemed too late – as if everything had already gone wrong before they could even start mending it.

“There was a river?” Sam wanted to picture every single detail, he wanted Grizz to unload to him, all of his worries about the future, about how to farm, about what type of fish they could have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, about anything that would bring Grizz back him.

“Yeah, with fish and everything. It was great, Sam.” For reasons unknown to himself, when Grizz spoke his name so kindly and softly, even after everything, it made Sam’s heart bounce and swell and flutter and smile the softest smile. Even with this awkwardness between them, Sam could see how proud Grizz was of their discovery. Or at least he was before they’d come back, the realisation that everything that their community had worked for in the past 6 months had been shattered to pieces in just a week may have ruined that sensation. But Sam wanted Grizz to be happy with himself, he deserved it. It was clear to Sam how hard the group tried, and how much they all wanted to give good news to everyone.

Sam nodded along, “Wow. That’s great.” Holding onto every single word that escaped Grizz’s mouth, yearning for a little more.

Grizz took a sharp intake of breath, “How’s Becca?” He knew the conversation would eventually lead to the issue, so he thought he may as well get it over with. Not that he wasn’t concerned about Becca, or the baby, but having to relive that moment when he realised… Grizz pushed that thought of his mind, genuinely wanting to hear Sam’s reply.

“She’s fine. They’re both fine.” But nothing else was _fine_. Everything seemed to be falling apart around Sam and he didn’t know how to stop it.__

_ __ _

“That’s good,” Grizz sniffed, his nose scrunching slightly, a movement that made Sam smile a real smile. “Eden, right? Gordie told me. It’s a lovely name.” Which was true. _Eden, delight_. In all honesty, he was just glad they didn’t call the child Gareth. That would have been a nightmare.__

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

The mention of Eden made Sam’s heart sink; not because he didn’t want to talk about her. She was honestly the most precious thing Sam had ever seen, holding her brought more joy than he could ever have imagined and seeing Becca light up and glowing made him so happy. But he knew how hard it was for Grizz to even think about the baby. He didn’t want to hurt him any further, he wanted to take all of that pain away, unload it onto himself if needed.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

“I missed you.” Sam ached for Grizz from the moment he left him alone near the trees until the morning he heard the group had come back. Every single night during that lonesome week, Sam had relived those small moments between the two boys. Wondering, pondering. Maybe if he’d done things differently, been less of a coward, more assertive, faced up to what needed to be said. He’d wanted to be there, next to Grizz, just as they had been. Laughing, smiling, laying against each other, skin touching. The calmness of being in each other’s arms.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

Sam still didn’t know it was possible to feel like that about someone he’d only really got to know recently. But that didn’t seem to matter; that Thanksgiving night, they spoke for hours and hours, finding out every single little detail about each other, even the ones that really didn’t matter. It was cheesy, but Sam did feel as if he’d known Grizz for so much longer. Sam remembered something he read, that the number of years didn’t define a relationship, it was about how much someone meant to you, or believed in you, or was there for you. It isn’t about months; it’s about the moments. Maybe their subconsciousness’ were trying to make up for lost time. It was clear that both had wished they’d acted a little sooner. And the events after that night proved that to Sam.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _

“We weren’t gone long, Sam.” Grizz himself knew this was just an outright lie. In the grand scheme of things, a week _wasn’t_ ridiculously long. But for Grizz, it was too much. Long enough to overplay every moment he and Sam had together. Contemplate what he said, but more what was left unsaid. How did they really stand with each other? Had everything gone too fast? What did Grizz really want from Sam? But really, the whole time Grizz was away, he just wanted to be with Sam, even with everything that had happened.__

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

Sam shook his head at that remark, Grizz was being flippant and he couldn’t blame him. But he knew very well that this specific week, was complete and utter torture, for both of them. “I know. I’m glad you’re back. We need you. I-“

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

“Look, Sam-“

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

“Everything’s fucked. When you left, it all went south.” Sam was angry, not with Grizz specifically, but with everything that had happened. He couldn’t understand how people could be so fickle, so easily led, so downright stupid.

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

“Yeah,” Grizz chuckled ironically, brushing his hair back into his signature bun. “Fuck happened?”

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

“You’re the glue.” Sam said, putting special emphasis on signing ‘glue’. It was true, Grizz was special – Sam knew that. But when he there, he seemed to have this presence. People listened to him; people liked him. He just had this way with people that Sam truly admired. But there was so much of Grizz that Sam admired. So much that he treasured.

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

Grizz started to shake his head, “That’s not true.” He knew Sam didn’t mean it in that way, but he didn’t want that responsibility. He just wanted to do his job. He wanted to help the best way he knew how to. Though, Sam did have a point. They’d only been gone over a week and it seemed that as soon as they left, it all went into anarchy. He’d expected it from people like Lexi and Harry, two whom were never that happy about the way things were working. And two that had been so easily manipulated by Campbell. Grizz wondered how Sam felt about that. The two hadn’t spoken much about his brother, but the night when Sam admitted to everyone about Campbell, about who he really was, Grizz understood so clearly how much Sam had struggled with him. And for what Jason and Clark were saying the night before Grizz left, well, he never imagined those idiots would actually act on it. The phrase ‘brawns before brains’ was particularly apt when thinking about those two. But it was Luke. _Luke_, his best friend. _Luke_, who always seemed level-headed, strong-willed, and generally a good guy. It was Luke who disappointed Grizz the most.____

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Grizz…” Sam, whilst signing his name by crossing his arms over his chest clawing it twice, which made Grizz chuckle, stepped forward slightly, mirroring the two boys positions the day Grizz left for the expedition. This brought Grizz back to reality. He didn’t want to invade Grizz’s space, no, that was the last thing he wanted, but he wanted this moment to be very clear and to have Grizz’s complete attention.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“She’s not mine. Eden. I lied. I’m sorry.” There was a beat. Silence. Sam could see the confusion in the taller boys’ eyes, as if he was going over what Sam had just said in his mind, trying to understand, comprehend those words. The words that would seemingly change it all. Or at least that’s what Sam hoped.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“What? What are you saying, Sam?” quizzed Grizz, looking rather puzzled.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m not her father. I didn’t sleep with Becca.” Sam closed his eyes and shook his head as he said this. He didn’t know what he had expected Grizz to say, how he wanted him to react. He wasn’t going to be jumping for joy. But Sam didn’t want a repeat of their conversation in Grizz’s bedroom. Sam was heartbroken when he left Grizz alone that day. He hated what he’d done and hated how he couldn’t fix it.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You lied?”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I had good reason to. For Becca. She’s my best friend – I love her. I should have told you … But it wouldn’t have been fair on her, to betray her trust…” Sam knew from the moment Grizz realised about the baby and Sam himself confirmed it, that he’d messed up. He wished he could have told him then and there that no, the baby wasn’t his, but he was going to be a father figure to Becca’s child and be there for his best friend. He wanted to tell him then and there that he already cared about Grizz so much and desperately liked him. But Sam was a coward. A loyal one, but still a coward.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The day Grizz and the group came back, the same day Becca moved back home with Eden, Sam told her the truth about Grizz. Why they’d spent so much time together, why they’d suddenly got so close, why Grizz looked so heartbroken when he came to the hospital, why Sam was so upset when the expedition group left, where he’d really been during Thanksgiving. Becca, as usual, had questioned every single thing but finally understood. Her almost giving her blessing, telling Sam that she loved him and would never stand in his way of true happiness was music to his ears. But her admittance that if anyone _had_ to know the truth, she would have wanted it to be Grizz? Well, that sealed it for Sam. He had to tell him. He had to at least try to fix his mess. Otherwise, he may have lost his one chance at happiness with someone he just couldn’t let go.__

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“But you’re telling me now?”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You’re too important to let go.” Echoing his previous thoughts, Sam once again moved closer to Grizz and flicked a strand away from his face, wanting to have a complete view of those puppy dog eyes, filled with the utmost sadness that Sam just wanted to rid away, even with the boy opposite him trying to avoid his gaze. This didn’t last long, Grizz couldn’t help himself, the way Sam looked at him… Grizz wouldn’t care if he never had to look at anything else.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grizz had to take a moment, he glanced away from Sam, focusing onto the nearby trees. Once he came back to reality, the sombre look on his face was all too clear to Sam but he didn’t look angry, almost relieved. Turning back to look at the freckled boy beside him, Grizz nodded as if he finally understood.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You could have told me. I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.” Sam couldn’t help but titter at this as it became clear to him that Grizz couldn’t be angry with him anymore.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m telling you now.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Thank you.” Grizz only signed this, planting a kiss on his fingers before motioning towards Sam. And he was genuinely thankful for Sam. Thankful for his kindness, his understanding, his lovely face. But he was most thankful for him freeing them of the mess the two had found themselves in.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Their eyes met, but properly, this time, locking onto each other. This time it was Grizz who stepped forward, he slowly leaned down to Sam’s level, allowing their foreheads to brush against each other. Cupping Sam’s chin with his hand, Grizz slowly pushed his lips onto Sam’s, allowing them to brush against each other, softly and delicately, just long enough to inhale his breath, long enough to feel the warmth of him and the taste he’d been wanting to taste. Grizz was so tender and gentle with Sam, as if he was scared of hurting him in some way. The two boys’ bodies only moved ever so slightly against each other, and Sam moved his hands to gently caress Grizz’s sensitive cheeks. Neither wanted the moment to end, but Grizz gradually pulled away from his lips, quickly stroking Sam’s chin, giving him a weak smile. Grizz placed a strand of his hair behind his ears and opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself and instead mouthed “I missed you too”, whilst poking his chin with his index finger.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You’re getting much better, I’m impressed.” Sam motioned towards Grizz’s hands, before taking them into his own, softly rubbing small circles in his palms.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Learned from the best,” Grizz raised his eyebrow, to which Sam shrugged and could feel the warmth coming from Grizz. “But you’ve still got more to teach me.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Okay, _Gareth_.” Sam smirked to himself, the weight of the stress and agony Sam felt about Grizz had been lifted off his shoulders, just as the tension between the two had finally been lifted. He felt complete ease being in his company, bumping into Grizz shoulder playfully with a huge smile on his face.__

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grizz teasingly pushed Sam, but quickly pulled him in for a side hug, planting a small but meaningful kiss on his forehead. Sam reciprocated; his soft lips with the slightest hint of coolness, leaving a small wet mark on Grizz’s flushed red cheeks, covering the dampness of his tears. And at that moment, Grizz was reminded of what Sam had asked in, only a week or so ago. That ‘almost everything’, was fading away. Right then and there, Grizz had exactly everything he needed.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
